You have turned my mourning into dancing Lord!!!

Wow what an experience tonight!! I finally got out of my place and headed to college and careers only to have the enemy try to stop me cold along the way. as I hit about a third of the way there some where around Shumacher I started having  an asthma attack. I could have stopped and turned back but I knew how important it was to get to church tonight of all nights, so I persevered and almost passed out due to lack of oxigen and vomitted a few times but I stuck to that trail on my bike till I got the 6 kilometers that remained behind me and locked my bike up at church. When I got in a little late but not too late. Everyone was having some personal prayer time so I snuck into the kitchen to grab some water and ran into a guy that came from the same back ground as me. we talked for a few minutes as I caught my breath. Then came the worship part of the service; now if you have ever been in a spot where you really didn't want to be you really don't feel like talking to God let alone praising Him, but I recalled a sermon my old pastor taught about when your down the best thing to do is prase God and to thank him in all things. Notice I said in all things not for all things. My low was not of God but through my low God used it to work miracles in my life. I usually lift my hands up in praise to my King but I found it so hard to do today finally we sang a song of worship and I forced my hands up in surender to God. That's when I started to feel better what happenned next is I asked for the praise and worship team to do Once again I don't know if all of you know it but here are the lyrics.


Once Again

Matt Redman
Verse 1
Jesus Christ
I think upon Your sacrifice
You became nothing
Poured out to death
Many times I've wonderedAt Your gift of life
And I'm in that place once again
I'm in that place once again

Chorus
Once againI look upon the cross
Where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercyAnd I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life
Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross my Friend

Verse 2
Now You are exalted
To the highest place
King of the heavens
Where one day I'll bow
But for nowI marvel at this saving grace
And I'm full of praise once again
I'm full of praise once again

CCLI Song #1564362© 1995 Thankyou Music For use solely in accordance with the SongSelect Basic Terms of Agreement. All rights Reserved.CCLI License #1643202 

I closed my eyes and wept as I sang it in prayer to Jesus. I didn't want to be at that place once again but I was. I felt like knealing while singing it but as I was with a lot of people I refrained from it. When we were done a senior member of c&c asked me if it would be ok if she said a few words about what was happenning over the last week as it was our time for group prayer. I said yes thank you. The group all laid hands on me and prayed for me I never knew I had impacted so many lives by being obedient to the Lord. Needless to say I am out of my depression and although I still long for home I know my work here is not any where near done.

At one time I thought I was called to be a pastor but now I think the Lord has ordained me with something simular yet more important; teaching pastors how to reach the people in need and working with them to support thier work. Mind you I could be way off in left field with that but it fits so well with the gifts the Lord has given me (the gift of humbleness, of teaching, leading, praise, worshipping, and giving) The vission the Lord has put on my heart is to teach people how to do exactly what Christ taught the deciples he taught them Servent leadership so they can go forth in any area and in anysituation and make deciples of people. He taught that the best way for any leader to lead is to beable to teach people to do the same as He did. and look at how the church in Acts grew ever hear of sinergy it's not new Jesus taught it and people just caught it from him when we work together for the cause of christ effectively we don't just add people to the body of christ we make it grow expedentially and this is what I feel I'm called to teach to people and why I'm place 2100 kilometers from my loving family and friends.

I see a revival taking place like TImmins has never seen where people will come out of the bars and into our churches to worship the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, The Comander of the Heavens and the Earth. I see them all worshiping and praising by the thousands and it won't stop here in Timmins as I spoke to a friend down in TO it's happenning there too. Satan is shaking in his booties today as we the mighty men and women of God ready for war against a defeated foe and it all started with the victory cry of Christ "IT IS FINNISHED!!"

Job 8:20-21
"Surely God does not reject a blameless man or strengthen the hands of evildoers. He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. (NIV)

Psalm 4:7-8
You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD , make me dwell in safety. (NIV)

Psalm 16:7-8
I will praise the LORD , who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (NIV)

Psalm 30:11-12You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever. (NIV)

Psalm 86:4
Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. (NIV)

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (NIV)

Thank you all for your prayers

I just got word from cherie the guy she was dating has broke it off with her because we were hanging out together yesterday.  She is now free to come to church and other functions again and to leave her backsliding in the past. I do ask though that you keep her in your prayers to keep her safe, and my self as well.

That was the first good news I had all day as you all probably know I am going through a tough time right now it appears my bi-polar (manic depression) has gotten the best of me once again and I'm having a hard time even doing the basics of life like cooking and cleaning. I don't do this that often but I am asking for prayer for me to get the strength from the Lord to do these things things again and to hit the road to look for a job because September rent will be coming soon. Thank God for having a savings account that I can't touch with my bank card otherwise I wouldn't have August rent still. I'm not sure what drove me to put the money in there b4 I hit my low but It must have been the Lord directing my paths.

Well I guess that is it for today so far I'm getting ready to go to Colege and Careers I don't feel like going but I know I need to so I guess I will see you all there

Eric

Ever have oneof those days you regret being alive?

I know I have the last 2 days have been a real trial for me and I am down realy far down. I don't think I have my job any longer and not too sure what to do any more. I hit the wall again an don't know how to get back up. I know this doesn't sound like the Eric you all know but this is also a part of me. I go through jobs like some people go through clothes. I tryed to explain it away by saying it was the shift that stressed me out or the calogne but it wasn't I just hit rock bottom again and need Christ to lift me out.

As I sit in a sweltering apartment thinking about the last 3 days. I have come to realize I have come a full circle. Life as we know it is futile and a waste with out Christ and with out God. I am totally at His merci and only He can help me now. I mean what do I tell people about whyI'm not working and how am I going to pay my bills and support the work of God in Timmins. Did I act in God's will by quitting; I don't think so. But what is done is done. I got a lead on another job only problem is it pays way less then I make now and it's doing repetitive work but it will give me my evenings and weekends off which is a good thing. Isn't my sanity worth more then money and how high of a price am I paying? Is it too high?

Do I give up and go home? Is that why I was sent to Timmins to fail? No I didn't think so God would never set me up to fail. It was bad choices on my part that cause me to mess up.

Wow I can't beleave I just typed all of this out.  This brings to mind something Paul says in Romans 7:13- .

Law Cannot Save from Sin
13 Has then what is good become death to me? Certainly not! But sin, that it might appear sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that sin through the commandment might become exceedingly sinful.
14For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin.
15For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.
16If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good.
17But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
18For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find.
19For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.
20Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
21I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man.
23But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
24O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?
25I thank God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Good night everyone
Eric

The Lord Will Provide

I was feeling down as you all can see by looking at the last posting but then the Lord put in someones heart to put a comment on my blog that lifted me up at the same time as as one of the worship leaders went into psalm 145 on the recording of last sundays message in case you don't know what it says here it is
14The Lord upholds all those [of His own] who are falling and raises up all those who are bowed down.
15The eyes of all wait for You [looking, watching, and expecting] and You give them their food in due season.
16You open Your hand and satisfy every living thing with favor.
17The Lord is [rigidly] righteous in all His ways and gracious and merciful in all His works.
18The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him sincerely and in truth.
19He will fulfill the desires of those who reverently and worshipfully fear Him; He also will hear their cry and will save them.
20The Lord preserves all those who love Him, but all the wicked will He destroy.
21My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord; and let all flesh bless (affectionately and gratefully praise) His holy name forever and ever.

Man what an Awesome God we serve he knows when we are hurting and need a spiritual uplifting. I mean up until now he has provided my phisical needs but now He is showing me that he also provides for us in spirit as well!
this time it is good night

Psalm 118

Psalm 118
24   This is the day the LORD has made;
        We will rejoice and be glad in it.
Man what a verse. We need to remember each day that it is the day that the Lord has made and make a choice to be joyful. Notice I said make a choice to be joyful; I said this because when we wake up we can choose what the day will be like. I mean if we wake up and say to our selves "Oh man it's Monday" how much joy will we have. But if we wake up and say wow this is going to be an awesome day because it's another day the Lord has made. It will be no matter what is thrown in our faces.
    
Lately I have been forgetting this verse an choosing to be moody and whiney all day but the Lord reminded me yesterday that He made that day and to rejoice in it. I was reminded once again that He loved me and wants the best for me.  The way to have joy is through Christ and only through Christ the world's joy brings sorrow but His joy does not. We need to get back to the basics of prayer, study, and praise in order to have joy.

Well guess I better call it quits b4 I make an hour long sermon like usual. Good night or good day depending on when your reading this blog.

Your brother in Christ,
Eric
A bondservant of the Lord Jesus Christ

As I went through work today I reflected on a conversation I had the day b4 with one of my coworkers while we were out for a smoke.  He was asking me about forgiveness. That's when the Lord reminded me that I am to be a light unto the world and not wearing a shade. It brought the words of a kid's song to mind, "This Little light of mine I'm going to let it shine." How often do we cowar away from sharing the joy of the Christian life with people even through pain and sorrow. I know I slipped up many times this week and I regret it. I guess one good thing is the people who had seen me that way know that although I'm a Christian I'm also human. 
 
I guess I'll leave it at that for tonight or should I say this morning it's 5:40 am and I'm almost ready for bed. I need a day job. I'm tired of missing out of fellowship due to having to work but I guess we all need to work to finance the Kingdom. Good night all